Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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