fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize