Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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