Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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