oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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