Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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