And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize