She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
