I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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