My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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