She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
