Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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