I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize