There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
