It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
