Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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