I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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