her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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