Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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