I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think a kid would responsible me up
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i need some magic done to my vagina
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
