Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
