i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
And then he peed in my hair
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