I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
