I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
