I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
