He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
