The maid of honor just puked.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
