There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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