just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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