Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
