My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
