i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I wear drunk well.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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