Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have post one night stand depression
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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