where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
