I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
