3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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