Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize