he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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