We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
