You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
