Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
