I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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