so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Randomize
