just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
