If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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