You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
