All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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