Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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