Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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