I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
