Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize