dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
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