Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have feelings that need drinking.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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