then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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