That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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