living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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