Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
