Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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