so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?