Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?