I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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