brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Randomize
