Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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